Picture 6

There was a time when I was blind,

And I thought I would like

This musical marathon.

There was a time when I lost my mind

Cuz this movie was tripe,

And I thought, “Oh, sheesh, get on.”

There was a time when it all went…

 

Long.

 

I squirmed and feared that I would cry

When Russell Crowe, he started singing.

I feared that he would never die;

I feared his toes would keep on clinging.

And Hugh Jackman (lots of hair)

Is just a mean, controlling father

Too paranoid of stuff “out there.”

(Does this make sense? Why even bother?)

 

Then the lovers come at night

(Please excuse my snide guffaw);

Eddie’s jaw, it looks too tight,

Amanda sings—no, it’s a Chihuahua.

 

The revolutionary youths—

This humanistic pathos play!

Of course the underdogs must lose;

Our pity’s their pass to heaven. Yay.

 

I had a dream this film would be

So different from this schlock I’m seeing,

So different now, I could have screamed:

Les Mis, you’ve killed the dream I dreamed.