All thoughts in chronological order. Times are approximate.

2:00 Whoa. Extended shot of Jai Courtney’s muscle-bound tush as the camera follows him around like a devoted caboose. Wonder how much he has that insured for.

20:00 Forget about the terrible twos. John McClane has a son in the terrible twenties.

25:00 Who the heck is this superman? I miss the guy who walked on broken glass and bled.

30:00 Someone’s leaving the theater right now to start People for the Ethical Treatment of Automobiles.

35:00 Dude, don’t trust the pretty Russian chick who totally looks like she has nothing to hide.

45:00 I don’t mind tongue-in-cheek, but this is brain-out-of-head.

1:00:00 Oh, hey, President’s Day tomorrow. What should I do with my afternoon?

1:10:00 Enough with Mother Russia. I want more yippee ki yay.

1:15:00 Jai Courtney has guns. And guns. And he just stuffed some of them into a cap-sleeved t-shirt.

1:30:00 Only 90 minutes. Oh, good, now I don’t have to sit through any disgusting plot development.